The Case for Replacing Joe Biden with Andrew Cuomo

Biden’s senility might be inconsequential since politicians are often mere figureheads, but most Americans don’t know this.

By

David Gottfried

Joe Biden’s debate performance was abysmal.  He clearly seems to be in throes of senile dementia. 

Of course, I cannot consider voting for Trump.  I don’t think I have to recount the ways in which he is abhorrent and toxic to everything we treasure.  

American Politicians as Figureheads such as Queen Elizabeth II

 

Biden’s senility may be of no moment.   It is quite possible that our politicians are figureheads and that policy, and executive action, is delegated to a large staff of brilliant grinds.  For example, if you ever read a federal statute, you would be sickened by its amazing verbal complexity, the sentences that contain about 27 clauses, and the constant references to other statutes which means you can’t read one statute without reading 5 other statutes at the same time.  I would wager a very good sum of money that most Senators and Congressman never read the bills they vote on.

No, most politicians are just used for show to attract a certain type of voter.   In the case of Joe Biden, his political role in life, ever since he entered politics, has been to continually refer to growing up in working-class Scranton, Pennsylvania, and to mention the importance of Kitchen table issues, and by doing this he connotes  memories of families, stretching their dollars and eating hot soup that was heavy on pasta and potatoes and other less expensive food stuffs.  By doing this, he hopes to shore up the waning Democratic votes among the white working class.  In FDR’s day, Democratic margines were built with real programs to help workers.  In our stupid, pathetic era in which image is everything, Democratic votes are garnered with idyllic memoires of childhoods in Scranton.   

I suppose nice memories of Grandma’s kitchen table are soothing, but it’s rather infuriating when you recall Joe Biden’s work as a Senator.  According  to the New York Times, his fellow Senators nicknamed him the Senator from Mastercard because of the special favors he extended to financial services firms.  As  I said, politicians are figure heads. The staff does the actual work; the campaign contributors decide what the politicians believe in.     

The people who actually write statutes and build programs, such as the Affordable Care Act, are the sort of people who wouldn’t get elected to office in a million years.  They are like some of my friends in law school.  For example, I knew a Jewish girl in law school who couldn’t get a job at a law firm for shit even though she was a genius with a perfect LSAT score of 800; she was short, fat, had acne and spoke like Fran Drescher in “The Nanny.”  She did however work for years in Senator Edward Kennedy’s Office, and she wrote many of the bills he championed. She did Ted Kennedy’s homework, and Ted Kennedy was the garrulous guy who took credit for it.    No, America does not like its intellectuals.  Hell, it doesn’t even like smart people.  We are a nation in which half the kids in high school major in football and cheerleading.

Of course, most American people don’t realize that Joe Biden’s intellectual vacuity and incompetence don’t matter because he is to American government what Queen Elizabeth II was to English government. Queen Elizabeth reminded her subjects of  plum pudding and sentimental songs such as “The White Cliffs of Dover,” and Joe Biden soothes Americans by eliciting memories of Hero Sandwiches and television shows such as “Happy Days” and “The Honeymooners.”  (I may be exaggerating for comic affects.)    

The Democrats will lose with Kamala, or without Kamala, as Biden’s replacement

Because of this debate, the American people will conclude that Biden’s intellect is severely compromised and that America’s well-being is jeopardized by him.    Very simply, he cannot win.  (And if he were to win, he would have to win the popular vote by an enormous  margin because of the growing anti-Democratic effect of the electoral college.) 

Therefore, the Democrats have to replace him.    In choosing a successor, they cannot win.  Many people will claim that Kamala Harris, as his current vice president, should be anointed.  However, many people are ready to vomit at the thought of her ascending to the White House. 

When we look at her, we see a loud, abrasive female who seems to be symptomatic of the pathological excesses of identity politics.  She seems to have become vice president only because she is female and a member of two racial minorities.    She seems to exude high wattage pride and self confidence that blinds you, like a car whose headlights are too damn bright.  She has a grossly exaggerated sense of her own self-worth.

I am Jewish, and I think many of my coreligionists will dislike her for her ferocious pro-Palestinian comments.   And don’t think for a minute that her Jewish husband is going to help her with Jews.  He is, supposedly, Jewish, but he seems like such a weak schlemiel that he reminds me of Woody Allen or a Jewish boy I knew in high school who constantly sang Barbara Streisand songs.   Jews will turn against her the way many Italians turned away from Walter Mondale, in 1984, because of the way Geraldine Ferraro rocked the psycho-sexual boat.  

Of course, if we don’t anoint Kamala the Queen of the Democratic Hordes, black America will have one of its frequent and ferocious tantrums.  They will contend that Kamala has been “dissed,” and this, in conjunction with the war in Gaza, will be deemed sufficient justification for riotous rallies and no shows at the ballot box.  

I am getting really nostalgic for Andrew Cuomo, and he, and quite a few other brilliant and politically incorrect progressives, some of whose names I cannot recall, are rising up in my mind.  

Sure, I suppose that men who take liberties with women are, arguably, aggressive and crass, but sometimes I think that most of the truly talented people of the world have the ethos of infants who chafe at  being toilet trained.   Besides, I will never forget what I heard Bella Abzug (A leading NY feminist and politician) say, shouting from a flat bed truck, two or three Saturdays before New York’s 1980 Presidential primary.

In making the case for Senator Kennedy, Bella expressed her exasperation with feminists who were too damn uptight about sex.  Abzug said that whether Kennedy slept with various women was not the issue.  Abzug insisted that the issue was whether a candidate would fuck over the women of America by getting rid of the right to an abortion.